Chinese New Year Conversations

Disclaimer: This has nothing to do with the assignments for this module.

Somebody I knew was going away to avoid this Chinese New Year period. Though I love the chinese new year goodies and receiving red packets, I do not really like how typical conversations go every year when I meet my relatives. Hence, I can understand why people would want to escape such hypocrisy during this season.

When I was 7 years old, older relatives would be asking how I was coping with the primary 1 school work. During my following schooling years, I would be compared to my other cousins of the same age. Mothers would congregate and discuss how many band 1s or As that we have/have not achieved or which stream we were streamed into. They never seem to get tired of that topic. Some years when I knew I did well, I would like to step out and say yes I did well. Other years when I knew I did less than satisfactory, I would just like to hide in a small corner and hope nobody will disturb me. Having older cousins who were scholars and future lawyers did not ease the burden either. Over the years, I have learnt to accept that I have done my best and if my best still do not meet their expectations, there is nothing much that I can do. They seem to have accepted that too because they stopped comparing once I stepped into university. Well, it was probably also due to the different courses pursued that cannot be compared.

I thought I have finally got rid of such awkward questions. However, they seem to be bent on asking me more difficult questions. They asked, "so you are graduating soon, have you started looking for jobs? What kind of jobs are you looking for?" and they try to give me advice. (Don't get me wrong, I do appreciate it) But they don't like it that I say that I'm keeping my options open. And they would start teasing me, saying that next time they would see me at a random construction site wearing those Phua Chu Kang (local sitcom character) yellow boots and safety helmet. If there's one thing about my future that I'm sure of, it will be that joining a contractor firm is out of the question for me. I guess the nature of my degree makes me especially susceptible to such stereotyping.

Another question that my older cousins (who are married) like to ask me is, "When are you getting married?" Obviously, they want to give one less red packet and instead let their children 'benefit' from my 'marriage'. That is one question that will be repeated till the day I finally get married. It's such an awkward question to answer. In fact, as a traditional girl, it's almost impossible to answer because we would not know when our boyfriends would decide to propose. Single journalists also like to lament such problems in their own newspaper column. I read an interesting  article that says that his reply would always be "Soon. My wedding will be held on 31st June". It worked for a few years until someone realised that there is no such date. I found that quite amusing. It seems everyone, not just me, face such awkward questions and have their own ways of handling it.

I foresee that marriage is not the end to such nagging questions. Once married, relatives would ask about when the couple is going to have a baby. Once the first baby is out, the next question would most naturally be when would they have the next one. Then there will be questions of school choices for the children and results. It seems this goes full cycle. Sometimes I really do think that such chatter is meaningless and insincere that you only try to 'actively' act concern for someone during this special time of the year.

Do you share the same sentiments? Or perhaps after taking this module, you have devised a better way of handling such situations. If you do, please share.